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03/15/2002 Entry: "Communism"
I just had one of those wonderfully engaging arguments that all students have about the nature of politics. It was particularly good because all participants had strongly held and sometimes widely differing views, which eventually split us into a anti/pro-communistic schism.
I won't go into the details of the argument since that'd spoil the enjoyment you get from your own, but we did come up with some very amusing standard terms which we used in our debate, namely 'shit shoveller', 'racing driver', 'potatoes' and 'people who mark the tests'.
For example: "So in your communism, I've just taken an aptitude test and been told that all I'm good for is shit shovelling. When I complain to the guy who marks the test, 'Why can't I be a racecar driver?' he replies 'Because you only scored 5% on the racecar driver test but 100% on the shit shoveller test, and in any case, you both get to eat the same number of potatoes so stop complaining.'"
And so, with only a few variations upon these four universal themes of communism and capitalism, you can describe entire political ideologies (e.g. 'What if I say I want leeks, not potatoes?' and '...But that'd just mean that all the shit shovellers would go on strike - in a communist country - because they want to become racecar drivers, and people wouldn't get their potatoes because all the shit building up in the streets would interfere with the potato delivery mechanism in some small but eventually critical role!')
Ah, fun times...