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08/29/2001 Archived Entry: "Faces"

I have a bit of a problem telling what people are thinking sometimes. It's said - well, it's known - that men can't judge people's emotions from their faces anywhere near as well as women; they can tell when someone is happy, but when they're sad? Not so easy. Of course, like any complex behaviour not everything is genetic and the ability to judge emotions can be learned - just like being a good poker player who's able to tell when someone is bluffing.

But judging emotions from faces is often a fair bit more important than playing poker, at least for most of us. And I have problems with it, as I'm sure many people do. The thing is, the real problem comes from worrying about it too much; instead of trying to cut my losses or perhaps learn to read people's faces a bit better, I invariably end up overanalysing the situation or simply making up false data.

Like (and this is speaking from my interior monologue* here): 'Well, X just went and looked at Y, so that must mean there's something going on between X and Y.' Or, 'I called up Z yesterday and the day before, but Z hasn't reciprocated - is Z annoyed with me? Maybe I shouldn't call as much. Or I should call more often. Or the same. Or I should wait for Z to call me tomorrow instead of doing it first. But what if Z doesn't call me? Okay, if Z doesn't call by 10AM, then I'll call. But that's too early. Let's say 10:15AM...'

Alright, so it's not exactly the newest concern to have faced mankind in recorded history. It's just that I can't help thinking that:

a) It's a big waste of time
b) If only I could read faces a bit better, then I wouldn't have this problem...

So it does bother me some days. Other days I'll just throw it all up in the air and give up the pretence that I have any control whatsoever over the events that swirl around my life.

There is a solution to all of this, beyond leaving civilisation, that is: talking to each other a bit more. But y'know, we haul around all this ridiculous neolithic (or prehistoric, or whatever it is) baggage around with us which is concerned with sexual selection, kin selection, group selection and a whole assortment of evolutionary biological terms which unfortunately and distressingly make a great deal of sense when applied to our 'modern' behaviour, such as why we get into fights (and why handguns make confrontations so dangerous), what attracts people, why we have emotions and why we fall in love.

All of which makes you wonder why our ancestors had to live such complicated lives...

*I tend to talk to myself a lot in my head. I suppose it's something of a bad habit. Not only do I talk to myself, but sometimes it's in the third person. For example, I might think, 'Wow, that tree is going to fall over - thought Adrian.' It's like I'm reading a book. Or writing one.